I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
