new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
