i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize