We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
