I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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