Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i will never coherently bang her
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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