I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Enjoy the penises
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
