I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize