I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
