people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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