i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
