he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
