We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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