Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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