Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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