Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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