You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize