It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
