she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
