she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
