I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
