i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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