Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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