Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
