i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
