the day after is always just damage control
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize