Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
