So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
