i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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