Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
