Swine flu. Run for my life!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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