i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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