So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
