It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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