Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
