where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
