i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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