am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
