bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
