Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
