i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
