I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
