Barsexuality is the new black.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize