the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize