I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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