you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
