is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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