Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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