Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
