also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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