You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
