dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
