Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
