yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
