Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
