Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
