I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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