marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
