too bad you live with your parents still
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
