everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You almost got us killed.
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