can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Even the bartender felt bad for me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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