so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
