i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Randomize
