Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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