Who did Billy Mays play for?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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