you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
