In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Randomize
