Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
