I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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