I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
